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Saturday 7 December 2024


EMDR- for Traumatic Bereavement


Bereavement at any time of year is hard but Christmas can be particularly so especially if loved ones supported a chronic long term illness or a death that was less than calm and easy.

The image left in someone’s memory; the noises in ICU or an accident can prevent the normal grieving process from taking it natural course. This is due to these memories being stuck in a loop, like a needle being stuck on an old vinyl LP, constantly replaying images or noises in the wrong part of the brain. Trauma prevents normal event processing where, in our sleep, the brain sorts out where to store these memories so that in the natural course of time, memories become less intrusive and debilitating.
Traumatic memories often produce nightmares, interrupting sleep and frightening the individual. Disturbed sleep then creates an additional chronic exhaustion, time off work or irritability.
EMDR can reduce the trauma intensity by helping the brain push the memory into the correct part of the brain for storage. This then turns down the trauma intensity until it becomes what a normal sad bereavement would feel like and allow the grieving process to take place.
EMDR therapists can be found across the UK and can work face-to-face or online.
I can be contacted at
patricia.lyon@btinternet.com
Or text 07732324387

Justin Havers has created a standalone programme for individuals to work through at
stopnightmares.org

EMDR is suitable for most traumatic memories of any event.

Call us now!
Saturday 21 February
TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS AS A THERAPY OPTION
Transactional Analysis, the modality of therapy I use in my practice, was created by Eric Berne in the 1960's. It is a communication model and allows me to help you understand why you have become the person you are today and how you relate to others.
Human Beings live to relate to others. It is how we define ourselves be it by withdrawing from others and being alone, engaging with others and never being alone, or somewhere in between.
Berne's clever but simple diagrams of Ego States allows us to 'feel' the three parts of ourselves that we use to function and Karpan's Drama Triangle allows us to diagram Berne's Psychological Games, the unconscious process of inviting or being invited into a dynamic that will have a negative outcome.
These are just two of many theories Berne has gifted to us to help us understand ourselves better and allow me as a therapist to increase your awareness and therefore options in your recovery.
Berne's basic principal and belief that we are all OK and that everyone has the capacity to think and make their own decisions allows self responsibility within a caring and supporting framework of therapy.
Thursday 19th February
RETIREMENT AND THE CHANGING ROLES FOR COUPLES
I've been working with a recently retired couple on their relationship. Both felt that they were unable to make the adjustment of living together 24/7 so they had already split up last year and wanted counselling to help them look at what was wrong after 30 years of marriage.
For the most part it has been about their changing roles and how that requires a different form of communication. 'Mrs' had been a mother, wage earner and ran the house with military precision; 'Mr' had worked long hours for many years and took a back seat in the running of the household as was common in their generation. Now that the children were adults they found themselves with no family to look after or work to go to.
Both were at sea.
Looking at their communication patterns helped them understand that having a family meant that there was not much time for direct talking to each other and it usually entailed something about the kids or family or work or getting ready for the next day. The energy and adrenaline that that required from 'Mrs' was still running and to a certain extent 'Mr' deferred to her organising abilities.
Now however, Mrs, wanted Mr to be a more 'present' part in her life, rather than just be an onlooker with a part to play. Mrs felt as if he did not care but as we talking in couples therapy, both began to understand that Mr needed to be more proactive in the relationship in order for Mrs to be seen and recognised.
Mr processed his thoughts internally while Mrs talked her thoughts. A talker and a thinker can often perceive each other as a nagger and not listening respectively.
As we practised ways of helping Mr to say more of what he thought, mrs became less nagging and felt more secure because she was 'seen' and no longer had to vie for attention.
The difference is palpable. Mrs describes the feeling as at last having 'ground beneath my feet' while Mr reports that these few things don't feel hard to do and he is so pleased at what a difference they are making to his wife.
Both see the outlook for the future good and plans are afoot to move back in together.
Depression affects each person in different ways but there are some common symptoms:
Do you recognise any of these symptoms in yourself or others?

• Feelings of hopelessness
• Inadequacy
• Anxiety
• Self-hatred
• Negativity
• An inability to enjoy things which were once pleasurable in life
• Guilt
• Agitation
• Weight loss or weight gain
• Loss of energy or motivation
• Loss of sex-drive
• Disturbed sleep
• Poor concentration, indecisiveness
• Irritability, anger
• Social withdrawal
• Unexplained aches and pains
• Self-harm
• Recurring thoughts of death or suicide
Diagnosing depression
Everyone may experience some of the symptoms listed above from time to time. Doctors diagnose depression by looking at the persistence of symptoms and the extent to which they affect your daily life.

  1. Are these feelings persistent, meaning that they never seem to go away and don’t change much from day to day, even when there isn’t any particular reason for feeling that way?
  2. Do they interfere with your life, leaving you unable to enjoy things you normally like doing? In severe cases, depression can make normal everyday tasks like getting dressed or doing the shopping feel impossible?
Do you think you have depression?
If you notice that you have been experiencing some of these symptoms for over two weeks, that they are persistent and are interfering your work, study or home life, and you do not have any identifiable reason for feeling this way it is a good idea to seek an assessment. This can be done by going to your GP. If he also advises to seek counselling then he may refer you to their local service or you can choose to come directly (self-funded) to me by calling the main website phone number 07732324387.

I offer a free 30 min initial consultation for you to meet with me and decide if we are a good match. Only then will we proceed with an agreement for treatment.
Call to book 07732 324387